


At home nowhere, except Starfleet

by Toinette93



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Blood and Injury, Bones does care, Gen, Hate Crimes, Hurt!Spock, I tried but I'm not a physician, Medical Inaccuracies, Medical Procedures, Mission Fic, Prompt Fill, Telepathy, beginning of the 5 year mission, triumvirate centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:28:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23837596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toinette93/pseuds/Toinette93
Summary: On a mission to rescue a Federation colony from an ecological disaster, the Enterprise carries two Vulcan scientists who are here to solve the problem. But the mission is not as simple as it seems, and there is something distinctly odd in the interactions between the two Vulcans and Spock, that send the first officer back to a time in his childhood he'd much rather forget.--Vulcans do not dream. They definitely do not have nightmares. And they certainly do not wake up from them with their heart beating so fast in their side it would be off the scale of any medical instruments conceived with humans in mind. At least not outside of pon farr. Spock was not in pon farr. But he was also not fully Vulcan, and his human half was proving to be an inconvenience. It was also the cause of that particular nightmare in more way than one.--This is an answer to the challenge A halfbreed freak right? (Wrong) by flamingbluepanda, over on the K/S archive. The link to the prompt is as follows : https://ksarchive.com/modules/challenges/challenges.php?chalid=735Thanks for the idea !
Relationships: James T. Kirk & Leonard "Bones" McCoy & Spock
Comments: 27
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello folks,
> 
> Hope you are doing good ! This fic is an answer to a prompt by flamingblepanda, https://ksarchive.com/modules/challenges/challenges.php?chalid=735, whom I thank for the idea. I don't put the whole prompt here as it would be a bit of a spoiler, but feel free to check it out as well as the other answers to it. Please note that I am not following every part of the prompt. 
> 
> This fic will include quite a bit of violence, particulalrly in one chapter, please read with caution. I'll put a summary in the endnotes of that chapter for anyone who might need it. 
> 
> The fic is completely written, and I will post about once a day. 
> 
> Now, without further ado, here it is. 
> 
> LLAP

Vulcans do not dream. They definitely do not have nightmares. And they certainly do not wake up from them with their heart beating so fast in their side it would be off the scale of any medical instruments conceived with humans in mind. At least not outside of pon farr. Spock was not in pon farr. But he was also not fully Vulcan, and his human half was proving to be an inconvenience. It was also the cause of that particular nightmare in more way than one.

Spock rapidly got his breathing under control. He passed his right hand on his chest, where his heart would have been, had he been human. His thumb followed a narrow scar. It felt raw again, but the pain was minimal and Spock easily controlled it.

He got up and got ready for his shift that was due to start 54.7 minutes later. They had been in orbit around Starbase 7 for a few hours, and now that formalities had been dealt with, Spock had to present the captain with a shore-leave rotation for the crew. It was ready, of course, but he still reviewed it one last time before getting on the bridge. He had gotten used to his new captain in the past few months since Kirk had taken control of the ship, and he had quickly gotten the hang of his new functions as first officer. The new captain had quickly proved he deserved his job, even if at first, Spock had not quite known how to deal with the more personal style of command he was using, far different from what Pike had done. Since Gary Mitchell had died, however, Spock had started to play chess more often with his superior officer, and he had to admit he quite enjoyed the company of the man. He was getting comfortable on the Enterprise again.

Then, the new doctor had joined the crew, about a month earlier. The previous CMO, Dr Boyce, had been a competent physician, as far as Spock could tell, that had had the wisdom to know the limits of his knowledge and had mostly left him alone. Spock had not sustained any injury during is 11 years as science officer on the Enterprise, and being generally perfectly healthy, had never needed more than a cursory medical examination once a year to meet with Starfleet guidelines. Spock had found this arrangement to be beneficial, and had expected the new chief surgeon to keep it.

Dr Leonard McCoy had proved to be anything but compliant. He had seemingly taken an instant dislike to his Vulcan self, often using derogatory language, that Spock was quite used to hearing from Vulcans and Humans alike, but that, even if it did not particularly bother him, he felt was quite inappropriate in the mouth of a starfleet officer. The doctor was a constant supply of illogic and emotionalism and Spock found himself wondering how such a man could have been allowed in Starfleet and as a CMO on the flagship, no less. He had even wondered if Kirk had not shown some favoritism, in requesting for CMO a man who was also his personal friend. Spock thought it unlikely. Kirk had too much respect for his role as a captain for that. And so Spock had looked up McCoy’s file, and had had to admit it was quite impressive, even if it also showed the doctor had had some trouble with authority in the past. Spock had initially doubted the accuracy of the reports, but McCoy’s recent solution to a medical problem they had encountered on a mission had proved he was a competent physician, despite his tendency to unnecessarily probe and prod at people with his beads and rattles.

That tendency was proving irritating to Spock at the moment. Irritation was an emotion that McCoy often seemed to elicit in him despite the strength of his Vulcan controls. McCoy insisted on doing a thorough physical on him, as he was doing with the entire crew. He had loudly complained about how incomplete Boyce’s records had been, and all of Spock’s logical arguments to prove how unnecessary such a thorough exam would be had been rejected with spite. Spock could not quite understand why someone who apparently hated him that much would want to spend two hours in his company without any real obligation, but he had had to admit that McCoy’s decision making process was quite a mystery to him. So far, the physician had been busy enough with other patients that Spock had been able to avoid his requests but he knew that it probably would not be able to do so for much longer. Riding the turbolift on his way to the bridge, he absentmindedly passed his hand across his aching scar again. Now was a particularly inconvenient time for such an examination.

On Starbase 7, the Enterprise was not only supposed to pick up supplies and rotate a few crew members. They were also to bring two scientists of the Vulcan science academy to a federation colony on a planet in an isolated system that was facing imminent ecological disaster and needed their expertise. They were bringing samples and in-progress experiments that needed particularly careful handling and Spock knew this would be quite a lot of work added to his already fairly large workload as first officer and science officer. He did not have time to submit himself to the doctor’s fantasies. Spock walked onto the bridge.


	2. Chapter 2

Jim Kirk was seating in his captain’s chair, reviewing and signing reports brought over by the lovely yeoman Rand, when his first officer walked onto the bridge. A bright smile bloomed on the captain’s face. He signed the last report, thanked his yeoman, and turned his chair towards Spock who was walking to his station. He was really lucky to have him. He had been a bit intimidated by the Vulcan at first, had not known if the officer who was older and more experienced than him would accept him as his captain, but Spock had soon proven that he deserved his reputation as one of the best officers in the fleet. What had at first had only been obedience and deference to fleet protocol, had soon become personal loyalty. To his own surprise, Kirk was starting to think of the Vulcan as a friend. Although he could not be sure, he thought that, in his own way, Spock was starting to appreciate him too. He seemed to enjoy sharing meals and chess games with him, at any rate. The fact that the Vulcan was also very good looking did not make anything worse. Kirk was always an admirer of beauty, in whatever form it took, and he quite appreciated the form of his Vulcan first officer.

“Good morning Mr Spock” he said his smile getting even brighter.

“Good morning, captain” answered Spock, in his usual monotone. “Here is the shore-leave rotation and resupplying schedule.”

“Thank you, commander.” He took the report, looked at it quickly and gave his approval. The document was flawless as ever. Having such a competent first officer certainly made running the ship a lot easier.

Spock went to his station, and Kirk kept on doing his job as captain of the Enterprise, receiving reports and coordinating tasks. About half-way through the shift, just an hour before they were due to dock, Kirk received a report from sickbay on the progress of crew physicals. About four-fifth of them had been done, and Bones was planing to finish the last fifth of them while they were at Starbase 7. He gave a schedule to that effect that was compatible with the shore-leave rotations and ressuplying constraints, and Kirk approved it readily. Attached to it was a list of people who had missed their appointments, with a request to remind them of the chain of command of a starship. Well, the language McCoy used was somewhat more flowery than that and Kirk could hear his southern drawl while reading the report. Kirk looked at the list of names, all the more determined to send them a reminder that he himself was not on the list.

He would normally have been, if he had to be honest with himself, but Bones had cornered him, and Jim, who was in a good mood at that particular time, had decided in favor of letting him do it. He hated physicals, had never really been comfortable with doctors, and he had disliked the examination his new CMO had submitted him to, that had been fairly thorough but at least Kirk trusted Bones, knew his only religion was the Hippocratic oath and had no doubt about his abilities. The list of name was surprisingly short. A few young crewmen from security, who definitely should have known better, one or two scientists that had been too caught up in their experiments, Scotty, who had apparently forgotten to show up, although he had apologized and rescheduled an appointment, and more surprisingly, Spock. Bones had apparently asked the first officer several times, and the Vulcan had manage to elude getting a physical with a lot of excuses.

Kirk could understand why someone would want to avoid a physical, especially since McCoy’s bedside manner could be a bit gruff, and him and Spock seemed to not get along very well but it still surprised him Spock would do something like that. Getting out of something that was mandated by Starfleet regulations. And if what McCoy said was correct, and Kirk had no reason to doubt his CMO on this point, Spock had manage to elude any truly thorough physical for the past 11 years. Even if Kirk felt some sympathy towards the Vulcan’s apparent dislike of physicals, he could not let the first officer of the ship set a bad example for the crew just as a new CMO was taking over the medical branch.

And besides, McCoy’s explanation as to why it was particularly important that Spock who was a Vulcan-human hybrid – Kirk knew Spock had some human ancestry but had not realized it was that much of it – get a thorough physical, so that his new physician would have baseline should anything happen to him actually made a lot of sense. All the more so that McCoy had openly admitted to the lack of training he’d gotten in xenomedicine at the Academy. He needed to get information about his new patient.

A docking space had finally opened on Starbase 7, and they had docked the ship. As he walked with Spock towards cargo bay 2 to start organizing the resupplying, Kirk told his first officer about the CMO’s request. Spock reminded Kirk of the added amount of work the arrival of the two Vulcan scientist represented for him, as science officer, and requested to be allowed to schedule his meeting with McCoy after the end of that mission in two weeks. Spock never complained of the amount of work he was asked to do, and Kirk, thinking he would not have made this request could he have done otherwise, granted him that. This particular mission was urgent but was unlikely to be dangerous, and the captain thought it unlikely this short delay would pose any risk even if he knew Bones would not be happy. Then the rotations and supplies started and he completely forgot about it.


	3. Chapter 3

It was two days into the three-days shore-leave rotations at Starbase 7. McCoy watched Scotty exit the examination room. The chief engineer had been his last patient of the day, and he was finally off shift. He should have been off an hour ago. He sighed and poured himself a drink. Doing a whole round of physicals was always a lot of work, but never as much as when it was a new crew. And he could already tell the medical section was understaffed. At least, the crew seemed to be mostly healthy.

Sipping his bourbon, McCoy pulled up a medical textbook on Vulcan anatomy and physiology, to re familiarize himself with information he had not had to deal with since his Academy days. Should he ever have to operate on a Vulcan, he needed to know where the organs were, at the very least. He then took a look at Spock’s medical file. It was indigent. Told him Spock had a mostly Vulcan anatomy, with some quirks that were not even specified. McCoy had tried to get records from the VSA but he had been denied, and Starfleet Command had ordered him not to insist. Something about Vulcan privacy or some such. How was he supposed to treat his patient if he did not know anything about him? So he had gone digging, and had found a few translated summaries of Vulcan medical journals that seemed to indicate Spock’s case had been the subject of some scientific interest, but still did not give McCoy enough information to properly care for him.

Why would that green-blooded hobgoblin not just come to his physical? How was that logical exactly? He was just infuriating. Had he been human, McCoy would have said he was finding pleasure in annoying him on purpose but the damned computer did not find pleasure in anything, and would have been insulted had McCoy suggested he did. No, he was just driving McCoy up the wall by being his natural, arrogant, Vulcan self, without even trying. He was still his patient though, and McCoy was adamant he would get the information he would need to offer medical care that was up to standards. Which would mean quite a bit of extra work on his part, so he should be gettin’ back to it.

What McCoy was learning, was that having a patient with a copper-based blood, meant that a lot of the treatments he was commonly using were likely to have severe side-effects on a Vulcan. He was also starting to fully realize the implications of that species almost non-existent blood-pressure. As he was reading on the latest available treatment of the most common heart diseases in Vulcans, his console beeped.

“Kirk to McCoy”

“McCoy here.”

“You’re still in sickbay, Bones?”

“Yeah, Jim, I had a few journals to catch up on, on Vulcan medicine as it were. Have you managed to get that Vulcan first officer to show up to his doctor’s appointment?”

“He’ll come see you once this mission is complete, Bones, he’s got too much to do at the moment for a thorough physical.”

“Jim...”

“That’s how it is Bones. Two weeks won’t change anything much now.”

“I could override your order on that, ya know.”

“Come on, Bones...”

“Alright, but tell him I want his scrawny ass in sickbay the moment those two Vulcans have left ship. I’ll get him dragged by security directly from the bridge if he doesn’t show up. I need a baseline on him, you know that.”

“I’ll make sure he shows up Bones.”

“Good. I betcha you weren’t only calling me to tell me about Commander Spock. Weren’t you supposed to go greet those two Vulcan scientists we have to carry around right about now?”

“They’ve been delayed, shuttlecraft problem or something, they’ll be here in half an hour, and it means I won’t be able to be there, I have a video appointment with Admiral Komack in 25 minutes. You’re going to have to do it. Spock will be there too.”

“Alright captain.”

“I’m sorry, Bones, I know you just went off-shift. And it’s dress uniforms, I know how how much you hate those.”

“Sir, yes, sir. It’s fine, Jim, I know it’s not your fault. And even I like dress uniforms better than having to talk to Komack.”

“Well, speaking of Komack, I really have to go get ready, Bones, and so should you. Kirk out.”

***

McCoy made his way to the shuttle-bay where the two Vulcan scientists would be arriving in a couple of minutes. He kept on tugging at his collar. Those dress uniforms were the most uncomfortable things he had ever had to wear. He hated them with a passion, and always felt they made him look ridiculous. They always had the effect of putting him in a foul mood, which certainly was not appropriate for uniforms that were supposed to be worn on diplomatic events. Those designers at Starfleet Command did not know what they were doing. Had never put a foot on a darned starship in their entire lives.

He finally got into the last corridor, with some time to spare, and crossed path with Spock who was also walking towards the shuttle-bay. McCoy noted that the first officer looked as poised as ever and not bothered at all by the dress uniform, the bastard. Well, on second glance he did seem to be slightly hunched. Huh. So those thing were uncomfortable even for a Vulcan. Although you really had to be used to seeing him stand straighter than anybody else as he usually did to notice. McCoy caught up with Spock, and the Vulcan stopped to wait for him for a second before starting to walk again.

“Evening Spock.”

“Good evening, doctor.”

“So, going to welcome those two scientists?”

“Yes, doctor, I do not see the point in repeating the content of a mission we are both very much aware of.”

“Alright, you hobgoblin, I was just trying to make conversation.”

“I would rather you abstained from it at this time.”

Well, even from Spock, that was rough, thought McCoy annoyed. Usually it was possible to have some sort of conversation with him, even if it was always a very frustrating exercise. If he did not know better McCoy would have said Spock was nervous. And he wasn’t even sure he should know better. The hobgoblin was half-human after all. McCoy decided to keep an eye on him, just in case. The extra workload that the preparation for the delicate experiments the two Vulcan scientists were bringing was maybe really a lot after all.

McCoy and Spock had arrived to the shuttle-bay. There were also two crewmen from sciences to carry the experiments to lab 4 that had been assigned to the two Vulcans. McCoy smiled to them, Spock curtly nodded, and they stayed at attention.

The doors of the shuttle-bay opened and two tall Vulcans who somehow manage to stand even more ramrod straight than Spock got out of the shuttle and walked to the door. Spock came to them and made a weird movement with his right hand that McCoy would have been quite unable to pull off. The two Vulcans started to do a similar movement, but stopped mid-way and just seemed to ignore Spock. Now McCoy did not like the hobgoblin or anything but that did seem rather rude, what was that all about. Especially cause they did acknowledge McCoy, even if only through a quick nod that the CMO gave back. Spock did not seem fazed by this though.

“I am Spock. First officer of the vessel. I come to serve.”

To McCoy it seemed kinda strange that Spock would be the one to say that given that he was on the ship to begin with, and thought those two Vulcans were probably not being very polite. Their next question confirmed his impression. Completely ignoring Spock they turned to McCoy and said:

“I am Tolek and this is Sasek. Where is captain Kirk?”

McCoy was kinda annoyed by this on Spock’s behalf even if Spock did not seem to be.

“Well, hello to you too, I’m doctor Leonard McCoy, chief medical officer of the Enterprise. And this is Lieutenant-Commander Spock, first officer and science officer.”

“The captain was unable to attend and sends his apology. I am welcoming you on this ship on his behalf. Myself and crewmen Yu and Kamal will escort you to lab 4 where your experiments will be stored and we will then show you to your assigned quarters.” said Spock

“Your presence will not be required.” said one of the two Vulcans.

Spock bowed slightly, and motioned to the two crewmen to escort the Vulcans. By that point, McCoy was ready to boil over but Spock gave him a stern look and so he held his tongue. Yeah, he knew how to do that, it’s just not a skill he particularly enjoyed using. The crewmen and the Vulcan scientists left. McCoy was about to ask Spock what that was all about but Spock just nodded and walked away. McCoy could have run after him, but it could wait. There were on the same ship after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks,
> 
> Hope you are enjoying this little story. Tell me what you think in the comments, it means a lot ! 
> 
> Next up, let's see what Spock is up to. 
> 
> LLAP
> 
> Toinette


	4. Chapter 4

Spock walked back to science lab 2 where he had one experiment currently in progress. The refusal of Tolek and Sasek to have him escort them to the lab and then to quarters was something Spock had known was a possibility the moment he had seen their names in the message that had announced their arrival and their mission.

Spock knew the two Vulcans, they were of the same clan, cousins, and Tolek had been a classmate of Spock’s, one of those who had resented his human side the most. It had been beyond simple taunts, which Spock had been used to for as long as he could remember. Tolek, very much influenced by the opinions of his older cousin, Sasek, had made it a matter of political faith. That cousin had been a very dedicated isolationist, who believed relations of Vulcan with other worlds and species should be limited to their bare minimum. Spock had soon made the hypothesis that this opinion just barely hid a quite illogical hatred of all that was not Vulcan, seen as inferior and impure.

Spock had hoped their opinions would have evolved since then. The two Vulcans’ presence on this mission in association with Starfleet seemed to be at odds with those beliefs. He wondered if those had somewhat changed, and if their condemnation now only included intimate relationships, inter-species procreation, and the birth of… half-breeds, like himself. That would have been a marked improvement. It would still make his work more difficult, since as science officer of the Enterprise, he had to periodically check on the progress of Tolek and Sasek’s work. He hoped that as Vulcans, they would see the need to cooperate for the good of the mission, but he could not be certain.

After a while working on his own experiment in lab 2, Spock noticed his thoughts seemed to come back again and again on Tolek and Sasek, wondering how he could make sure their unwillingness to work with him would not present a risk to their rescue missions. He realized he needed meditation, and left the lab, carefully writing down the stage at which his experiment was at. It was 2245 and he should have been off-shift for hours anyway.

Getting into a meditative trance took Spock a bit longer than it normally would have, the pain in his scar seemed to have increased, and the area seemed to bit somewhat warm to the touch. He concentrated in his meditation on his immune system, to get it to respond to what seemed like the beginning of an infection, and he blocked out the pain. Once that was done, he reached deeper levels of meditation, and thought he was successful with integrating the events of the day.

The next morning, though he woke up, again, covered in sweat, heart beating far too fast, pain in his chest, and images in his head he wished his Vulcan eidetic memory would allow him to forget. Hands, covered in green, reaching, inside. Screams. Pain. Running. In that moment before really waking up, his human half was harder to get under control, he struggled to see these memories with the detachment they deserved. He managed though, even if he had to use techniques taught to children, and those who lacked control. He got himself back in check.

Like every morning, he got ready with poise and precision, applying the make-up on his eyes with care. He used it in ways traditional to his people, but he also changed it a bit, he had learned in his years spent with humans that a bit of well-placed eye-shadow rendered his face more expressive to humans, making their interactions easier. He hesitated for an instant to do it in front of Tolek and Sasek. He pushed the thought away. It was logical for him to improve communications with his human crew mates for the sake of ship efficiency. Besides, the captain seemed to approve.

***

Spock had been on the bridge for the departure from Starbase 7. McCoy had been there too, although he was supposed to be off-shift, bringing reports on crew physicals to the captain, a task that could have been done more efficiently by simply sending a message from sickbay. Why the doctor always insisted on spending so much time on the bridge was a mystery to Spock. He had thought at first the CMO was avoiding his duties, but the long hours the physician did spend in sickbay made that hypothesis obviously fake. He should probably stop trying to understand the constant source of illogic that was Leonard McCoy. The doctor had seemed particularly intent on watching him that morning, and the raised eyebrows Spock had sent his way had not dissuaded him nor gotten him to explain what his intentions were, so Spock had gone back to his work, and the CMO had finally gone back to sickbay.

And now, Spock was walking towards the lab where the two Vulcan scientists were conducting their experiment, to hope to be able to help the emergency that had motivated the planetary distress call they were now answering.

In the following 45 minutes, he worked with Tolek and Sasek, looking over the result of their experiment with them. They were promising. As the two Vulcans had hypothesized, the brutal change in the planet’s ecosystem had come from a usually harmless element produced by space-craft activity in the atmosphere interacting with some unusual radiation that had not ben detected before in the region of space the planet was in. Tolek and Sasek had found a way to neutralize the interaction, by dispersing modified plant spores from a planet where life had evolved on its own with this radiation in the atmosphere. The last challenge was to figure out how to get the spores in the atmosphere using the ship’s system.

The three Vulcans were working in silence, checking equations, and ship specs. For Spock working with Tolek and Sasek had been a trying experience. It made him realize how much he had gotten used to working with humans. The two Vulcans were brilliant scientists, and they were logical enough to accept to work with him in the circumstances. They however, only listened to him when he was bringing information concerning the ship, cutting him out whenever he tried to contribute to their part of the research. Their form of logic did not admit the possibility that he could actually know what he was doing outside of his narrow role as a starfleet officer.

Five minutes before shift-change, Spock was busy rechecking a meteorological simulation when the ship suddenly shook violently and he barely had time to catch himself on the side of the table to stop himself from falling. They had suddenly dropped out of warp. The ship shook again. A few seconds later, the familiar sound of the red alert called him to battle stations. They were under attack. Spock calmly paused the computer simulation he was working on, told Tolek and Sasek to secure their experiments, and ran out of the lab towards the bridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi people !
> 
> Some more about what is going on with Spock and those two Vulcans. And what just happened to the Enterprise? 
> 
> Hope you are enjoying this, thanks so much for reading, tell me what you think. 
> 
> LLAP,
> 
> Toinette


	5. Chapter 5

The sudden shock of deceleration threw Jim Kirk out of his chair. He landed on the ground. Rand helped him up.

“Are you alright, captain?”

“Yes, thank you Yeoman.” Then turning to the helm “Sulu, what was that?”

“We’ve just dropped out of warp sir.”

“I got that. Any explanation as to why?”

“No sir.”

Kirk punched the com button on the armrest of the captain’s chair.

“Kirk to Engineering. What’s going on?”

“I dunno yet, sir, we dropped outta warp, and I canna tell you why. The instruments tell me there’s nothing wrong with me engines but they just stopped.”

“Alright Scotty, keep me posted.”

“I will, sir.” answered the scotsman, sounding affronted that his engines had dared do something like that to him.

The ship shook once more, some sparks going on on the engineering console. James Kirk turned to his bridge personnel.

“Not sure what that was sir.” said the young woman currently occupying Spock’s station. “Those readings don’t look like anything I’ve seen before. But it could be a weapon’s signature.”

“Raise shields.” ordered Kirk

“Aye sir.” answered Sulu.

“Red alert.” Kirk added. “Man you battle stations.”

The alarm blared, and the flurry of activity associated with that order started on the ship. It shook again.

“Shields holding, but some of the energy blast still passed through.” commented Sulu.

“Uhura damage report.”

“Some minor damage on deck 8, damage control parties are on their way.”

“Casualties?”

“Sickbay reports three wounded, none life-threatening.”

Kirk nodded, letting the information sink in.

“Patel?” asked Jim to the Ensign at the science station.

“I still don’t know what it is or where this comes from sir, there are no ships registering on sensors, but I think… yes I just managed to get the instruments to register whatever that is a little before it hits. Not by much though.”

“Well done Ensign, pass the information to Sulu’s console. And… evasive maneuvers Mr. Sulu.”

“Aye sir.”

The ship was tossing and turning under Sulu’s expert hands, avoiding most of the blast but not all. The shields seemed to only be able to absorb part of whatever that was and it did damage every time it did hit. Kirk looked at his bridge personnel. They were all doing their very best, and it just wasn’t enough. At the end of his circular glance, he looked at Rand who was recording everything, summarizing the information as they got it, ready to give a memo anytime anyone would need it.

At that very moment Spock walked inside. He got all the information he needed from the ever-efficient Rand, and walked to his post. Ensign Patel moved aside, and kept on working on feeding information to Sulu. Kirk asked:

“Spock try to get our shields to work against those blasts. And Uhura, try to see where those things come from.”

Kirk looked at each member of his crew was obeying his orders, trying to get them out of there. It was that moment of powerlessness he dreaded in a fight, when he had given his orders, taken the decisions he had to take, and the only thing it could do was to wait for the fight to take its course, while listening to the casualty report from sickbay, relayed to him by Uhura. Quite a few wounded, as the ship shook on and on, but they had not lost anyone, yet. And then, the ship stopped shaking.

“I have been successful in adapting the shield’s frequency, captain.” said Spock.

“Good. Try to find the attacking ship.” said Kirk. Now they could focus on trying to find whoever was attacking them.

“Sir” added Ensign Patel “I don’t have any trace of them anymore. I think they have stopped their attack.”

“Alright.” said Kirk. So they had fled, if it had been a ship at all, attacking them in the first place. “Stand down from general quarters” he added, and the alarm stopped blaring in the ship. The damage reports coming in said they had been lucky, there was only limited damage to the Enterprise. But the warp engines were still recorded offline.

“Kirk to engineering.”

“Scott here.”

“What’s the status down here, Mr. Scott.”

“I canna get the warp drive on line, sir.”

“Why is that, Scotty, we did not get hit that bad, did we?”

“No, sir, but there was a very well placed hit to the plasma conduits, sir, the drive isn’t damaged, but we’ll need to completely stop it, clean the conduit, and start everything back up.”

“How long, Scotty?”

“Err, about 24 hours captain”

“...”

“But I’ll try and get it done in 15”

“Alright Scotty, get to it.”

“Something else, sir.”

“What?”

“This is what is stopping me from restarting the engines, but this ain’t what stopped them in the first place.”

“What is it then?”

“I’m investigating it as we speak sir.”

“Alright, Scotty, keep me informed.”

“Aye captain, Scott out.”

Kirk turned to the communications console

“Uhura, contact Starfleet Command. Spock, go check with those two Vulcans if they’ll still be able to revert the cataclysm with the delay.”

Spock nodded and left the bridge. Kirk sat back into his chair. He had officially been off-shift for about an hour, but the precision of the shot did not feel right with him, and so he gave a few orders to communications and security to discretely look for signs of sabotage before leaving and going to his quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks !
> 
> Bit of a short chapter this morning, but with a lot happening. 
> 
> What did you think of the battle? Tell me in the comment. 
> 
> LLAP
> 
> Toinette


	6. Chapter 6

McCoy walked out of the OR with a sigh, got rid of his mask and glove, and went to sit in his office to write his report. He had just finished the last operation from the wounded in the attack. He had had to operate three people, none of them for life-threatening injury, and he was confident all of his patients would make a complete recovery. His last patient, Crewman Sieger from Maintenance, had had some fairly deep lacerations from an explosion, and had lost quite a bit of blood, but he would be alright in just a few days. McCoy typed out the whole report.

By the time he was finished, it was almost time for dinner. McCoy asked Kirk if he wanted to have dinner with him, and Jim agreed, but he still had a few reports to go through before he could join in, so the two friends agreed to meet half and hour later in the mess-hall. Since he had some time to spare, McCoy decided to take the long route to the mess-hall, to stop by the botany lab to finally get a look at that new orchid hybrid that Sulu had been going on about for days now.

McCoy was worried about the mission, his sickbay was not equipped to deal with a planet-wide evacuation, much less with radiation poisoning and respiratory distress on that scale – the radiation was depriving the atmosphere of its oxygen – should it get to the worst. But there was absolutely nothing he could do about it, that was Scotty’s job to get them moving again, and the chief engineer was damn good at his job. McCoy kept on walking.

His route passed by science lab four, where the two Vulcans were working. McCoy had forgotten about that. He really did not want to have to deal with them, he had kept his calm earlier on Spock’s behalf but if they were that rude in front of him again, he’d give them a piece of his mind. When he arrived in front of the lab, someone was getting out the door.

“Light offs.” said the person, who’d been alone in the room.

Getting a little bit closer McCoy recognized the first officer. Spock should not have been working at that time, thought McCoy, but with all that had happened in the past few hours, shifts had become quite theoretical.

“Evening, Spock.” threw McCoy, still walking

“Doctor.” answered Spock, after a small pause.

McCoy got there, and noticed Spock seemed to be leaning on the wall.

“Tired, Mr Spock?” he asked in a teasing tone.

“I am….” Spock did not finish his sentence. He seemed confused. He pushed himself off the wall, and started to walk. His step faltered, and McCoy had to grab his elbow to stop him from falling.

“Woah there, Spock, careful.” McCoy reached for his medical tricorder remembering he did not have it with him. “Alright, I’m getting you to sickbay, you think you can walk?”

Spock just nodded. Slightly alarmed by the lack of argument from the first officer, McCoy helped him walk towards sickbay, more and more of the Vulcan’s body weighing on him. McCoy reviewed in his head what he’d have to do first, cursing in his head the lack of a baseline for Spock. That would make his job a hell of a lot more difficult. McCoy also noticed, as Spock’s body was pressed into his own, that it did not feel colder than a human would. For a Vulcan, that meant a high fever. Dammit.

Finally they were at the door to sickbay. The door opened. McCoy called Christine who ran in, and they got Spock on a biobed in the only ward of sickbay that was not yet filled with patients. All the alarm started to blare. Chapel sent a worried look his way. McCoy turned the biobed to Vulcan normals. It was still blaring, although not at the same things. And the CMO had no idea which one he should take into account. He just shut down the alarms, and got the biobed to display both Vulcan and human normals to try and make sense of what he was seeing. As he was trying to concentrate, there was an alarm from one of the other wards. Chapel nodded and went to help another of their patients. McCoy trusted her to do whatever was appropriate and call him if needed.

He looked at the readings. They told him of low blood-pressure, even for a Vulcan, a heart-rate that the human version of the chart just did not register, and that, even for a Vulcan, was very high at over 300bpm, and a temperature that was perfectly normal for a human at 36.8°C but that would have been instant death for a pure-blooded Vulcan. McCoy figured it probably meant Spock was running a fever although he could not be sure. That’s why he would have needed a darn physical. Looked a lot like a pretty bad case of infection, although from what, McCoy did not know.

“Alright Spock, can you hear me?” He asked his patient who had been very quiet through all this, and whose eyes were currently closed. He opened them and answered, also he seemed to have trouble focusing.

“Yes, doctor.”

“This indicator there” McCoy started, showing the K3 over the bed “is telling me you’re in some pain, can you tell me where?”

Spock started tugging at his shirt, trying to show something. McCoy took the piece of clothing off, with some care. On Spock’s chest, at the approximative place under which a human heart would have been, there was a wound, small but raised, inflamed, with the skin around the wound bright green, and suppurating.

“Spock how long ago did you get that injury? You should have come and seen me sooner.”

The first officer did not respond but gave McCoy one of the looks that made the surgeon angry in an instant. McCoy breathed in and out and kept his temper in check, and, with gloves on, took a closer look at the wound. It looked like an old wound, that used to be a lot deeper than that and apparently had never really closed, or had reopened multiple times over the years. Around that particular wound, were a multiple of small barely visible scars, the kind that would appear if a dermal-regenerator was used by someone without medical training.

McCoy disliked what he was seeing, but this was not urgent. He took a blood-sample to determine the strain of the bacteria, and had the results in minutes. He hypoed the Half-Vulcan with an antibiotics after checking in was compatible with both Vulcans and Humans, hoping this would be enough, and proceeding with getting some fluid into him through an IV, explaining what he was doing every step of the way.

Spock was eerily silent, occasionally looking intently at what McCoy was doing but mostly seemingly not looking at anything, concentrating on something the physician couldn't identify. McCoy was done with administering his drugs, and draining the wound. All he could do now was wait and see what would happen. Chapel had just told him Sieger had had some abnormally high pain levels, but was getting better, and she’d agreed to go get some sleep provided he would call her should anything get worse. She’d be sleeping in sickbay not for the first time, and it would not be the last either.

McCoy walked to his office where he would most likely be spending the night, and made himself coffee. His stomach growled, reminding him he had missed his dinner and was almost an hour late to his meeting with the captain. He wouldn't be able to go. Just then, his com beeped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evening folks !
> 
> Hope you're all doing good, and that you enjoyed this little fic. 
> 
> I did my best with the medical information, but I know it's vague at best, if any of you see any glaring errors there, tell me. The Vulcan physiological normals come from Memory Alpha. Don't hesitat to comment in general, especially if you liked the fic ;-)
> 
> Have a nice evening, and see you tomorrow for the next chapter. 
> 
> Take care, live long and prosper
> 
> Toinette out


	7. Chapter 7

Kirk was in the mess-hall. He had arrived early for his dinner with McCoy, found a table in a quiet angle and brought a real, paper book version of Hamlet. He knew the play almost by heart, could probably have played half the roles without having to rehearse much by now, and yet he re-read it frequently, getting caught-up in the story every time. He needed the distraction. His ship was without a warp-drive, a vital mission depending on the possibility to repair it in time, and he could do nothing to speed up the process.

Ophelia was lamenting the loss of Hamlet’s love and his apparent insanity, when Kirk’s stomach reminded him that he was waiting for McCoy and that the physician was late. Over an hour late. This was not like Bones, unless there had been some sort of unexpected medical emergency in sickbay. Kirk decided to check.

“Kirk to sickbay.”

“Sickbay, McCoy here.”

“Bones!”

“Jim, I know I’m an hour late, I’m sorry.”

“What happened?”

“Medical emergency. I didn’t have time...”

“One of the wounded from the battle?”

“No… well, yes, Sieger had some issues, but Chapel took care of him and he’ll be fine.”

“Who then?”

“Well, it’s Spock, Jim.”

“What happened to him? He wasn’t hurt in the battle, was he?” Kirk’s tone was laced with worry. He needed his first officer dammit. And his friend, a somewhat more honest voice at the back of his head added.

“I’m not sure exactly, Jim, he’s got a pretty bad case of sepsis from a wound, but I’m not sure how he got hurt exactly. Looks older than yesterday for sure. I think I got it in time, even if it’s hard to tell with that darn hybrid physiology of his. I’m still going to keep an eye on him tonight though, I’ll stay in sickbay and check on those readings regularly, make sure he doesn’t get worse. I’m afraid I won’t be able to join you for dinner.”

“Well, I’ll join you then, Bones, what do you want to eat?”

***

A few minutes later Kirk entered sickbay with a tray of food from the mess hall. Everyone knew that food from the mess hall tasted better than food from sickbay. Even if it was just colored cubes. He walked into McCoy’s office, but the doctor was not there. He left the trays on the table, and went to look for his friend. He saw Chapel, in the first ward, taking care of the wounded men from the attack. She shooed him out, and told him where the CMO was.

When Kirk found him, McCoy was bending over Spock, and he gestured him to wait and make no noise. The captain did as he was told, and waited in the entrance of the room, looking at what Bones was doing. Spock seemed to be unconscious or asleep. He had a bandage on his chest. The CMO changed the dressing on the wound, he had his back to the captain, so Kirk only saw him throwing away one strip of fabric and getting another to put on. McCoy then walked to the other side of the bed to check an IV, and changed the bag. Kirk thought Chapel would have usually been the one to do that, but she had a lot to do with all the other casualties, and McCoy obviously knew what he was doing.

Kirk then saw McCoy take a look at the reading over the biobed – even with his total absence of medical knowledge, Kirk knew it looked nothing like his usually did during any given physical, but Spock wasn’t human so he had no idea what it meant. The doctor then put a gloved hand on Spock’s shoulder and took another look at the readings. He pursed his lips, and got two hypos in there. One of the indicators slowly went down, and McCoy nodded to himself, but he was still worrying at his lower lip. Then he went back to the other side of the bed again, his back to Kirk, but the captain still saw him adjust the bed covers and pillow a bit. The physician then took a last look at his instruments, huffed and walked toward Kirk. He had on his face the annoyed look that the proximity of the Vulcan usually provoked.

Kirk wanted to ask questions, but McCoy took him by the arm, and walked him to his office. He closed the door, checked that the monitor allowing him to keep an eye on his patients’s vitals was working, smiled tiredly at the trays of food, then at Kirk, and the two friends sat down.

“Finally got him to fall asleep.” said McCoy “Would rather avoid to wake him up or have to sedate him more.”

“How is he?”

“Better. Not in immediate danger anymore, as far as I can tell.”

“He was?”

“Yeah, I think, when he got there. Some of those vitals were all over the place. Most of those have gone back to more normal levels, but that fever is still pretty high. Would be deadly to a full-blooded Vulcan, but his baseline temperature is probably a bit higher. I just don’t know enough, Jim. But I’ll do by damned best to keep that green-blooded bastard alive. If only to teach him to show up to his bloody physical.”

“I know, Bones. I’m sorry I didn’t order him to get there earlier.”

“Yeah, well ain’t much you can do when someone is that stubborn.”

The conversation lulled, and Kirk, pushed the food-tray toward McCoy, starting to eat himself. He was worried about his first-officer, his friend, but he trusted McCoy when he told him Spock was not in immediate danger anymore. Intellectually at least, even if it did not stop the pang of worry in his chest. He was also curious about how Spock had gotten injured, and really angry at him for not reporting it. He did not ask McCoy about it though, knew he would be putting his CMO in a delicate situation between the secrecy sworn in his Hippocratic oath and his role as a Starfleet officer. Especially as it could be argued that a member of the crew not reporting an injury could pose a danger to the ship.

They did not talk more as they ate, but Kirk could see Bones relax a little bit in his presence. McCoy finally asked about the ship’s status, and Kirk told them they still did not know for sure when the warp drive would be back online. After an hour spent together, McCoy said he needed to go check on Spock again, and told Kirk to get out of his sickbay and go get some sleep. It was 2300. Kirk said he’d wait to get an update on how Spock was doing before he left, and McCoy nodded to that and motioned to Kirk to wait for his return in his office.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people,   
> So this is the chapter that justifies the graphic description of violence warning, if you need a heads up, go see the end note.  
> Take care !

Spock had been half aware of someone checking him over. The man’s touch had been careful, and Spock, more than half-asleep as he had been, had barely felt any pain as his bandage had been changed on the inflamed wound. He did not know where he was. He felt too hot and too cold in rapid succession, although it seemed to him that he had been shivering less. He wanted to get up to try and see what was going on, but could not seem to keep his mind focused enough to actually do it. 

Then he felt the faraway touch of another mind. Not a mind meld or anything of the sort, just another Vulcan mind in deep meditation, looking for others around it. Spock knew that mind. He couldn’t still be there. He had escaped. He knew he had.

***

Spock was huddled in a small cave. There were bumps and bruises all over his body. His student uniform was torn in several places. He shivered. The sun was setting and the heat of the Vulcan desert would soon turn to bitter cold. He should be able to regulate his temperature, but he was truly exhausted, and his abilities were slipping.

Spock touched his left arm, to see if the cut his captors had made was still bleeding. It seemed to have stopped, leaving a bright green mark on his arm. It did not appear to be particularly deep, and the pain was quite manageable. Some of the bruises, gained why trying to escape were a lot more painful. He did not think anything was broken though.

They had caught him as he was walking home from the last day of school. His parents were out of town for a few days. At 14 he was quite able to stay alone for that long, but that meant he did not know how long it would be before someone noticed something had happened to him.

Those who had caught him had been fast, and he had not been able to fight. He had tried to escape once they had gotten to a hovercar but he had just gained a few blows before having to surrender again. He had been restrained, his eyes covered, and  they had driven for 16.2 minutes. They had turned a lot, and he was not sure how far exactly they had travelled. They were several cave formations around  ShiKahr and he was not sure which one it was, but none of those he knew of were particularly far into the desert. If he could escape, he should be able to make it back, even on foot, as long as he managed to steal some water, and some clothes if he left during the night. 

He had to figure out how to escape first, but so far, he had not found any solution. They had first brought him to a rather large cave, and pushed him in the middle of a room. Some of the voices had sounded somewhat familiar but they had been muffled my masks and his own ears had been covered, and so he had not been able to identify them.

One of them had caught his arm and cut into it. His head covered, he had not seen the blow coming, and had been unable to restrain a gasp of surprise and pain. He was a Vulcan. He should not have cried out. The daily taunts of other children came back into his mind telling him again and again he was not a real Vulcan, he was a half-breed, had a lower intelligence, would never be able to do what the other would. He remembered the teachers, congratulating him on his results obtained _despite his lineage_. He thought of his father who insisted he always was the best in everything he tried, who wanted to make sure he would be behaving according to Vulcan standards, always pointing out when he failed. He tried, and he tried, and yet, just now, he had not been able to stop himself for crying out. He had the pain under control now, at least. 

After that, there had been a bit of confusion, and then he had been thrown down in this smaller cavity. One of the hands on his shoulder had been quite big, the other the little smaller. What he had heard of the muffled voices had confirmed it. There was maybe one adult amongst his captors but most of them were youths both male and female. Maybe the same ones who were teasing him at school although he could not be sure. He had been left in his makeshift cell. He had tried to escape. But he was in a hole, with smooth wall. He would need a ladder to get out and there was none at the moment.

Spock started to hear the voices of his captors again. There seemed to be a disagreement amongst them, and they were getting closer. He could make out some of what they were saying. One of the kids was talking

“The blood was green, sir.”

“Not the same as yours.”

“But...”

“If the color of the blood is not proof enough, I will show you how truly inferior, how human, that thing that usurps the name Spock actually is. He’s even worst than a human, he’s an abomination, a monster. His life is a threat to us all. And you are going to help me prove it.”

There had been a presence, at the outskirts of his mind, uncomfortable, but never quite there enough for him to be able to fight back.  He had been taken out of the hole and back into the larger part of the cave,  without his head covered this time .  His captors were still disguised though. He could tell by their height they were children, but he still could not recognize them. Spock expected pain, and this time, he would not cry out. One after the other, the kids were given a knife, and each opened a shallow cut over his body. The leader of this little band was going on about the  light-green color of the blood, that it was not truly Vulcan. Spock could sense the excitement of cruelty in the other children, in all the power of unchecked Vulcan emotions, although he could feel the hesitation in some, and not every blow drew blood. But none hesitated enough to stop. 

There was a fury in what was happening, something that Spock could feel would probably end in his death. The pain was accumulating, his controls getting shakier, and yet he did not cry out. Logic had not much left to do with it,  he had decided he would not  scream and keeping his decision was the only thing keeping him going. 

The leader of the group raised a hand, and the children stopped slashing. The relief was short lived however. The adult Vulcan took another knife, and Spock could feel him in his mind, showing him his hatred and his will to kill, and the twisted logic underlying it all. Spock’s shirt was taken off. He knew the man wanted to show everyone his human heart. He also knew all he would find was a Vulcan stomach. His tormentor just cut through his chest, on the left side. 

D espite all he had promised himself, Spock screamed in pain and terror. The other was still inside his brain.  The moment repeated itself, again, and again, and again. And suddenly, Spock knew who that was.  Sasek. He hadn’t been sure, at first. But now he knew. 

***

McCoy, on his way to check on Spock, had been stopped by Chapel, who had given her reports on the status of the other patients before going back to the other ward. It took less than 10 minutes. When McCoy had left his office, his readings had told him that Spock was improving, even if the fever was still quite high, and the CMO could not tell if the 235pbm heart rate that was around Vulcan average, was normal for Spock or not.

Now, as he entered the room, he immediately notice d his patient trashing on the bed, in a position that looked like he was trying to protect himself.  The readings showed extremely high heart-rate and the doctor could hear the fast and shallow breathing from where he was.  He cursed under his breath and  pushed the intercom button to get Chapel to come and help. Then Spock screamed, a very high-pitched, pain-filled scream that did not seem like he should have come from the Vulcan. 

McCoy rushed towards hi m . He had not often heard that kind of open terror, and he did not think he would ever hear it from Spock, of all people. The Vulcan was now muttering something in his native tongue. McCoy had no idea what it meant, but he could recognize distress when he heard it. 

“Spock, you’re ok, you’re on the Enterprise, you’re safe.” he told him, not sure if he should touch him. That did not have much of an effect. He’d probably have to sedate him, although he’d rather avoid it, in fear of adverse effects that light have with the hybrid physiology. Spock was trashing around again, and McCoy fearing he would hurt himself, gently pushed his shoulder back on the bed, still talking calmly, while preparing a hypospray. As he was getting the hypo nearer, Spock pushed it aside, and grabbed the doctor’s hand. 

Suddenly, McCoy could see a younger Spock, covered in blood, surrounded by masked Vulcan children holding knives dripping  a  green  liquid , shit, dripping blood , as another figure was, well basically vivisecting him. He was in Spock’s memory. Knew it was a memory.  T he adult injuring Spock was Sasek. The contact was brutally broken, as Spock let go of his hand.  McCoy was shaken,  but he did not let it stop him from doing his job, and he resumed trying to prevent Spock from hurting himself.

Kirk had heard the screaming.  Spock’s voice was barely recognizable. Bones had said he was going to be okay… Kirk ran towards the sickbay ward, as fast as he could. He entered the room, as McCoy was again trying to pin Spock down.  Kirk moved in, to try to help, Spock would hurt himself if he kept on trashing like that. 

“Bones!” He asked, panic in his voice, but the doctor was too busy to answer, and motioned for Kirk to help him. Spock’s hands were flaying, trying to grab at something, and the captain grabbed one, to pin Spock down, and to try and provide reassurance. 

There was Sasek, holding a blood-covered knife. Green blood. Spock’s blood. “Get him back to his cell and let him rot, he said.” That was Spock, under there, held prisoner, bleeding. A younger version of Spock, barely out of childhood. Sasek left the room. Kirk could feel Spock’s terror. But the young Vulcans did not obey. They were scared, and they ran, leaving Spock on his own. Kirk was trembling. McCoy, understanding what was likely going on, and not wanting to get two patients instead of one, tore Kirk’s hand away from Spock’s. The first officer started flaying again, looking for something to hold onto, and Vulcan strength sent the CMO flying across the room. He hit the floor, hard. Kirk had taken a step back for a second, but resumed trying to stop Spock from hurting himself, mindful not to touch his hands. 

A second later Chapel was in the room. She took in the scene, saw the abandoned hypospray next to Spock’s head, grabbed it, saw it contained a sedative, as she thought it would, and managed to punch it into Spock’s thigh, not the most orthodox of places, but the only one she  was able to reach. The Vulcan stopped moving almost immediately, and the readings calmed down somewhat.  The head nurse moved back to help McCoy, who was shaking his head, slowly getting up from the floor. Christine helped him up and got him into a chair. 

Once Spock had been sedated, Kirk had taken a step back, skin ashen, a look of shock written all over his expressive face. McCoy got back up and looked at Spock’s readings. They had stabilized again, and the fever even seemed to be starting to go down.  Then he glanced at the captain and at his own trembling hand. Finally, he looked at  Chapel, who nodded.  She could keep an eye  on the patient for the time being .  McCoy grabbed Kirk by the arm, and dragged him to his office, while still leaning on him,  his head pounding from his fall to the floor . They needed to understand what had just happened. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short summary: Spock gets a flashback from his time as a kid when Sasek enrolled kids into proving Spock wasn't a real Vulcan by showing his blood and the inside of his body as not Vulcan.   
> He trashes about on the biobed, risking injuring himself, and as a result both McCoy and Kirk, trying to restrain him, get the same images in their heads. 
> 
> Hello people,
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to tell me what you thought. 
> 
> The scene, is my very humble attempt at understanding by writing fiction the following (really interesting) text:   
> Appadurai Arjun, « Dead Certainty : Ethnic Violence in the era of Globalization », in Genocide an Anthropological Reader, Oxford, Blackwell, 2002.
> 
> Please don't show this to Arjun Appadurai! But, if you're interested, go read it, it's really an interesting text on (in very broad an inaccurate terms) how violence is sometimes used to make sure and prove someone is different. Sorry about the bibliographical note in the endnote! I can't help it, I swear. 
> 
> LLAP, people.


	9. Chapter 9

They sat down in McCoy’s office. The remains of their meal was gone, Kirk had taken care of it earlier, but there was still their glasses out, and after a moment of longing for alcohol to deal with what he had just seen, Kirk reasoned that they needed their heads clear, and poured them both some tea. He looked at his friend who was busy taking care of the small wound on his head he had gotten from being thrown on the floor by Spock. The surgeon’s hand were shaking.

Kirk let him finish the procedure then put a hand on his arm. McCoy’s blue eyes looked up. He took a deep breath.

“You ok, Bones?”

“Yeah, I’m alright, Jim, just, you saw, right.”

“Yes, I did. I have. Is… is Spock going to be ok? You said he was getting better, Bones, and then… What happened? Was it just a dream?”

Kirk had to ask, but he truly did not believe it was. There was something about the images that just felt real. He could well be wrong of course, but…

“Physically, I’m quite sure he’ll be fine, Jim. The fever has started breaking, what I injected him with worked, the infection is draining. Mentally… I don’t know, Jim. I… It was a telepathic communication, that’s for certain, and it did not feel like a dream at all, but I don’t know much about how the Vulcan brain works, and Spock’s half human anyway. That wound he has, it’s a badly closed scar, I’d like a good chance to punch in the face whoever did such a sloppy job of treating it in the first place. Does look like a stab wound to me, too. If it’s that old, though, and can still reopen like that, there was probably more to it than just a sloppy doctor taking care of it. I’ll look into it, see if that part of what we saw checks out. But it won’t prove anything about the circumstances, you know that. I’d normally say Spock’s childhood is none of our damn business but…”

“Sasek was in there right?”

“Yeah. Holding the damn knife. And, Jim, I don’t know about what we saw just know, but him and that other Vulcan, they’ve been right bastards with the hobgoblin. Not that he seemed to care much, but I’ve been that close to give them a bit of a talking to about manners. I know I don’t always get along with Spock, but those two, they act as they downright despise him. It’s not the same as what we just saw, but it’s not contradicting it either. Spock will be back on his feet before the end of this mission. You can’t let him go back to working with them, Jim.”

Of course he wouldn't, thought Kirk, what kind of a monster did McCoy think he was. A starship captain, his brain supplied. How had he not seen this, the way they had treated Spock, and the first officer must have been in pain. He hadn’t notice. But it was not the time for this. A few thing he’d learnt about the two Vulcans suddenly made sense, and he feared they might be a danger to the Enterprise. He answered McCoy’s question.

“I don’t intend to. I’ll send someone from sciences with a thick skin to work with them. D’Avost maybe. She’s a tough one. I’ll post some guards to the door as well.”

“On what pretext?”

“Not a pretext, we’ve just been attacked, haven’t we? I should have thought about it sooner, I’ll do it as soon as I get out of sickbay. Now, what I’m more concerned about is the security of the ship, the mission.”

“Do you think Sasek and Tolek might represent a threat to the ship?”

“Well, when you left, I got a report from Uhura. There’s been unauthorized communications with an unknown ship or planet coming from inside the Enterprise. Just when we dropped out of warp. Not a message, just a signal. Even without what we just saw, our two Vulcans sound like primary suspects. I’ll try to find information about them, while Uhura tries to pinpoint the source of that signal and Scotty repairs the conduits and tries to understand why the warp drive just stopped. I’ll suspect it may well have been sabotage.”

“What interest may Sasek and Tolek have in stopping us from getting to that planet? It’s their mission too, and at least a third of the colonists are Vulcan.”

“I don’t know, Bones, but I don’t trust them. And if they’ve done what we’ve seen…”

The look of pure hatred in Kirk’s eyes was information enough for McCoy. Not that he disagreed. The captain continued.

“But there isn’t proof, and that planet still needs their help. I’m going to let them continue their experiment but I’m going to get their results double checked for any inconsistencies.”

McCoy gave a quick glance to the data on his screen, following Spock’s readings. He trusted Chapel, but neither of them knew much about Spock’s physiology, and two pairs of eyes were better than one. Kirk saw his CMO’s glance.

“Is he getting better?”

“Yeah, all the readings seem to indicate the infection is under control, he should be back on his feet a couple of days. I’ll try and keep him here a bit longer, monitor his progress. You should go sleep, Jim, you need it. I’ll sleep here, just in case.” He pointed to the cot in his office.

Kirk would have wanted to argue, but he knew his CMO was right, and so he left sickbay. He had to sleep even if he would need some chemical help for it. McCoy stayed there and did fall asleep, to his own surprise. When he woke up the next morning, and went to check on his patient, he found Spock back to his annoying normal self. All traces of the infection had disappeared. The wound was still open, but after taking a few samples, McCoy had to begrudgingly agree to release his patient to quarters.


	10. Chapter 10

When Kirk got to the bridge the next morning, he soon noticed the glances to the science station occupied by a stressed-looking ensign in blue. Since McCoy had just commed him to tell him he’d released Spock to quarters – remarkable recuperative capabilities, Jim, that Vulcan immune system works wonders once it starts actually doing its job – Kirk could inform his crew both of the first officer’s illness and of his progressing recovery. All the other injured crew-members from the attack had also been released from sickbay.

The ship was still traveling at sub-light speed, but all the other damage from the attack had been repaired, and soon, Scotty was back on a comm channel telling them he had the warp-drive repaired and ready. A few minutes later, they were back on course, although they could only go at a maximum of warp 5 for now. Scotty also told the captain he had some information about their initial shut-down.

“All right, Scotty, meet me in conference room 2 in half an hour.” Then turning to his chief communications officer:

“Uhura? Any progress?”

“Some sir, but not as to who sent the message yet.”

“Alright. Well, get Palmer to man your station, and join us as well in conference room two.”

“Yes, sir.”

Half an hour later, in the conference room, Kirk learnt that the initial malfunction had indeed been caused by sabotage, someone had given an emergency stop order to the warp engines, by pirating the computer systems. It had been an expert’s job, and one Scotty probably would not have detected if it weren’t for some security training imposed upon the engineering team by Pike a few months earlier that had included a somewhat similar scenario. When Scotty described the scenario in details, Kirk largely failed to understand in what way it had anything to do with the current situation, but decided not to point it out. One way or the other it had worked.

The job could have been done from pretty much anywhere on the ship, but the intricacies involved meant that relatively few people on it knew how to do it. Scotty and Spock, of course, DeSalle who was a remarkable programmer, as well as a few people from Engineering, Sciences, Maintenance and even Security. All in all, Scotty estimated about twenty people had the knowledge.

Uhura had learnt that the communication had been made from deck 6 or 7, and had reached a ship or asteroid no further than two light years away. There were no planets in that distance of the ship at the time. She had found several communications on unusual channel coming from the same zone as the signal, communications she could not yet decode. The information according to which this was a largely empty area of space seemed to have been in error, even if the sensors did not pick up any vessels. The number of asteroids fields in the area made the data quite difficult to interpret with any degree of certainty, however. She could not determine where the signal had come from with any precision, it having been masterfully masked. She estimated a list of about fifteen people with the knowledge to do this. The list only partially intersected with Scotty’s. But they could not be sure there was not more than one person involved. The two Vulcan scientists were absent from both lists.

“Don’t you think our Vulcan guests would have had the knowledge to do this?” asked Kirk.

“It’s unlikely, captain.” said Scotty. Then after a second “But not impossible.”

“It would be coherent with the localization of the call.” added Uhura, thinking hard.

“All right, commander, lieutenant. Keep working on trying to get more information on this. I’ll ask Giotto to look at your lists of suspects. Uhura, I want you to check the recent activity of our two guests. And make sure they don’t send anymore messages. Scotty, I don’t need to tell you, but nurse those engine, we need to get to that planet as quickly as possible. The last reports we got are not encouraging. The human part of the population is starting to find the air a bit thin over there. Vulcans are still alright, but, for how long… All right, you’ve got your orders, dismissed.”

They had lost almost two days. And they would likely lose a bit more, as the engines needed to come slowly back to full power after their complete cool down. Kirk hoped they would be there on time. For now, Sulu could keep the bridge. They’d call him if there was any news. He needed to get more information on the two Vulcan’s past, and he could not ask anyone else to do it without risking Spock’s secrets. He did not speak Vulcan besides the few words from the vocabulary of chess that Spock had taught him over their game and the use of the universal translator made things slower and slightly less reliable. Vulcan data on the Federation databases were not the easiest to find, and Kirk was no researcher, but he kept at it.

If they’d done that to Spock… But if they were here it probably meant they had never been caught. And it was always possible they were innocent. Kirk did not believe it, but it was quite something to accuse people of without proof. Besides, he had no idea if Tolek had been involved or not.

The first information he found were Tolek and Sasek’s birthdates, and the fact that Tolek had studied in the same school than Spock. Kirk felt like a bit of a voyeur looking up that kind of private information on his first officer. He knew he would have hated somebody looking up that kind of information about it. But he needed to know. He pushed back a few memories fromTarsus IV that were rearing their ugly heads and kept on looking.

Sasek had also lived in the same city and was Tolek’s cousin. Sasek, however had left Sikhar and his studies rather abruptly at the end of the school year when Spock would have been 14. The information after that were rather sketchy, it seemed he had left Vulcan altogether for a while, and come back years later to get approved into the VSA. Tolek, who was much younger, had actually preceded him there by a few months.

Kirk knew it was not much to go by, but he couldn’t find more information without having to ask for it, and at that point in time he had no reason to ask that would not risk exposing Spock. He did not know a lot more, but none of what he had learnt contradicted what he had learnt from Spock. And there had been something in this mind-link or whatever it had been that made Kirk think that had really happened It was just a gut feeling, not enough to accuse anyone. He sighed.

His console beeped. The report from D’Avost. It wasn’t encouraging. The atmosphere of the planet they were heading for was getting thiner and thiner, already, the human part of the population, had had to be confined inside were a supplement of oxygen could be provided, but the supplies would not last long. And the Enterprise’s delay meant that they would get there too late for Tolek and Sasek’s plan to work well enough to make the air comfortable for humans again. They would probably have to evacuate the colony, at least its human population.

Kirk noted that D’Avost’s report had also been sent to Spock. Of course, not one had told her Spock was on sick leave, and the Vulcan probably had not found it necessary to tell her either. Kirk sighed again, stubborn Vulcan. Before he had time to contact his first officer, his console beeped again, the call came from McCoy’s office in sickbay, and when Kirk took it the surgeon’s face appeared on the screen.

“Hey Bones.”

“Hello, Jim.”

“Do you have news, how’s Spock doing?”

“Oh, the hobgoblin’s fine, recuperating real fast, but he won’t be if he doesn’t start following doctor’s orders. Now I was monitoring him from here, and I see he’s just been sending reports to sciences, he’s working on that damn atmospheric restoration project again. He needs rest, Jim. Now I’ve told him as much, but he won’t listen.”

“Bones, we do need those results...”

“Did you ask him to do that, captain?” and in the surgeon’s mouth the title sounded like an insult.

“Now, I didn’t. Is he getting worse again?”

“How would I know? The distance monitoring doesn’t show anything, but… I know how bad it is on that planet Jim, I got the reports as well. I ordered Spock to report to sickbay at 1600 hours, if he is still alright by then, I’ll clear him for duty.”

“And any progress on...”

“Yeah, that’s what I was calling you about actually. The age of the wound checks out. And I’ve found out why it never closed. There was a form of poisonous plant left in the wound, stopped it from ever closing completely. I can’t pronounce the name of the thing, but it’s indigenous to Vulcan, and it’s actually used in Vulcan medicine to cure certain illnesses of the telepathic centers of the brain. From what I understand, and I don’t know much about Vulcan telepathy, it seems like it activates in response to one particular brainwave.”

“Sasek’s do you think?”

“Would have to be tested, but yes, I suppose so.”

“Is the poison still in Spock’s system? Is it dangerous?”

“I don’t think it’s all that dangerous on its own, it’s simply getting that wound open again, and stopping it from ever really closing. The infection was just that, an infection. But I’m working on an antidote. Those Vulcan journals gave me a few ideas, Christine is testing some of them as we speak, I should have something in the next few days, Jim.”

“Good.”

“What are we going to do if we find out Sasek really did that to Spock, Jim?”

“I… I don’t know. We’d have to ask him, I don’t want to force him to do anything. But I can’t let Sasek get away with it, either.”

McCoy nodded.

“Well, Jim I should get back to it, find an antidote.”

“Go ahead, Bones. Kirk out.”

McCoy thought that whoever had treated the wound should have noticed the poison too. He had and he wasn’t even Vulcan or trained in Vulcan medicine. He was starting to wonder if that wound had really been treated professionally at all, and that sent a shudder down his spine.


	11. Chapter 11

Spock had just finished arguing with doctor McCoy on the definition of light duties – the surgeon had an illogical tendency to apply human recovery times to his Vulcan physiology, as it turned out – and was looking at his data again. Although the argument with McCoy had as always threatened to bring to the front a hint of irritation, the return of the doctor’s usual behavior towards him had been a relief to Spock.

When he had woken up in sickbay, feeling fine, but with very little clear recollection of how he had gotten there, McCoy had been careful around him, showing signs of uneasiness or concern, Spock had not been quite sure which. For someone who talked so much about the healthy release of emotions, the physician could be quite hard to read. He had vague memories of the night, of nightmarish recollections and of pushing someone away, and he had been concerned he might have hurt McCoy. The return of their usual arguments had felt right.

The problem Spock was trying to solve was not an easy one. The spores they were supposed to release in the atmosphere to counter the effect of the unusual solar radiations just would not be enough if they got there as late as they were going to. It would stabilize the situation, but the planet still would not be livable for humans, and Spock was not sure they would be able to evacuate everyone before they suffocated. He had tasked some of the best officers in his department to work on an evacuation plan, and himself was trying to improve on Tolek and Sasek’s work.

He had to admit he was relieved he did not have to work with them anymore. Their presence had been… uncomfortable. Despite all his Vulcan controls he could not help but see the knife before his eyes, over and over again, and the proximity of Sasek’s mind, in particular, was disturbing. Spock strengthened his shields. He was already shielding far more than usual, enough to blur his perception of the world a bit, there was no way Sasek, who was a strong telepath but not an exceptional one, could reach him now. And yet, he did not feel like it was enough… He could see the knife, feel the mind, and he was breathing faster, heart rate increasing.

Spock got himself back in control. He could not let a memory interfere with his work. Those people on the planet needed help, and Spock was starting to suspect Tolek and Sasek were not particularly willing to give it to them. The formula in itself worked, even if Spock had managed to boost it a bit. But it was also incredibly hard to disperse, making it far more time-sensitive than it needed to be. Another approach would have been possible, Spock could see it, but it was too late to go that way now.

And so, vision blurred by the amount of shielding he was exercising, Spock was looking for a way to disperse Tolek and Sasek’s formula faster. And he was getting an idea. It would not be without risks, but… He kept working at his calculations.

***

Kirk was sitting in his chair on the bridge, McCoy standing right behind him, a tube held in his right hand. A young ensign was at the helm, and Kirk could not remember the name of the lieutenant manning the science station. They had just dropped out of warp, and were arriving at the planet. Uhura was listening intently to the feed in her earpiece. The quality of the communication seemed to be rather poor, and she was pushing buttons, trying to improve it, without much success. The interference was getting worse.

Kirk turned to the conn: “Standard orbit, Ensign.” he ordered.

“Aye sir” answered the young man.

“Uhura, report, how bad is it down there?”

“The outside air is unbreathable for humans, still usable for Vulcans although not without difficulties. Oxygen supplies won’t last for more than a couple of days, and the production cannot keep up.”

“Casualties?”

“Twelve deaths so far, sir.”

Kirk clenched his fist. They needed to act fast. At this moment, Sasek entered the bridge, and walked towards the captain, stopping for an instant at tactical.

“Captain, I am here to report that we are ready.”

“Good”

“I am also here to give you this modified scanner, that should allow you to follow the progress of the experiment from the bridge.”

“Thank you, Mr Sasek, please give it to the Lieutenant.” answered Kirk, politely, pointing to the science station. As Sasek was walking towards it, Kirk heard a beep behind him, coming from McCoy’s tricorder. Kirk looked back to his CMO who nodded, furious expression on his face. The sample of poison from Spock’s wound had reacted to Sasek’s presence and telepathic mind. It was as much of a smoking gun as they were going to get. Going back to the matter at hand Kirk turned to Sasek:

“I think that thanks to your work and Spock’s modifications, we will be able to stop this tragedy from happening.”

Kirk looked intently at Sasek’s face, hoping for any kind of reaction. But Sasek was a Vulcan, and Kirk did not get any. Sasek nodded, said he would get back to the lab to monitor the events, and left the bridge. Kirk nodded to Uhura, and she nodded back. She had detected a few other signals, never quite enough to pinpoint them for certain; but now she had a trap laid. Both her and Kirk hoped Sasek would take the bait.

Kirk could feel McCoy’s hatred for Sasek from where he was, and he wasn’t even telepathic. He noticed his own fist was clenched. He forced himself to calm down and focus on the matter at hand. They had a planet’s population to save.

****

Spock was helping to get the shuttlecraft ready. Sulu and Patel would be manning it, getting low into the atmosphere, through layers and layers of interference that would render instruments useless and make piloting a dangerous business, in order to shoot the spores at the perfect altitude and angle to maximize their diffusion. According to the first-officer’s calculations, it should be just enough to counter the effect of the radiation in time.

Spock would not be coming on the shuttlecraft this time. He had requested to be part of the team, but his request had been denied by the captain. McCoy had also grumbled something along the lines of a supposedly genius green-blooded hobgoblin not understanding the meaning of light duties, as well as some comments about Jim showing some sort of common sense for once.

Sulu and Patel were competent officer, but Spock had not had time to check his calculations as much as he should have, and he would rather not have risked other lives than his own on a barely proved theory.

***

Kirk was looking anxiously at Spock, who had resumed his place at the science station and was monitoring the progress of the shuttlecraft. Communications were difficult and beaming Sulu and Patel out of there, uncertain, even if Kyle was doing his best in the transporter room to keep an active lock. So far their progress had been good, and they were starting their dispersion run. The oxygen levels in the atmosphere that McCoy was monitoring had started to rise again.

“Captain?” said Uhura, urgency in her voice.

Kirk got out of his chair and leaned over the communications station. Uhura showed her a communication she had just blocked and recorded. It came from Tolek and Sasek’s lab, and was a call to an unknown vessel, telling them of the Enterprise’s likelihood of success, and asking for an attack to stop them. It even contained some tactical information. Thanks to Uhura, the call had not left the ship.

“We’ve got them.” whispered Kirk, putting his fist on the table. Then he flicked a few buttons on the comm panel, and ordered Giotto to get the two Vulcans arrested. “Don’t underestimate them, Commander”

“I won’t sir. I’m sending a full squad. Giotto out.”

The two Vulcans were arrested and thrown in the brig. Forty-five minutes later, they had Sulu’s report. They had dispersed the spores in the atmosphere, and managed to clear the interference. They would be back in the ship in a few hours. The oxygen levels in the atmosphere were slowly going back to normal. As soon as it was clear their mission was a success, McCoy sent Spock back to his quarters. They had done it. And Tolek and Sasek would face charges for their crimes. In the end twenty-seven people had died on the planet.

***

Once the first hours of intense activity had subsided, Kirk commed McCoy who had gone back to sickbay earlier to coordinate a few things with the thankfully well equipped hospitals on the planet surface. The surgeon answered immediately. He looked tired, and Kirk offered to talk later. But there was an air of determination on his friend’s face, and they met fifteen minutes later in the captain’s quarters.

“It checks out, Jim. Damn bastard. And if he’d only been caught sooner… Twenty-seven people have died! I’ve been looking over autopsy reports, asphyxia is not a nice way to go, Jim. How did it happen? Why….”

Jim put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. He was always somewhat awed at the ability McCoy, under all his gruffness, still seemed have to care about each patient he lost, about each life cut short. Worried for him, too. Kirk cared about his crew as well, and each loss still hurt, but he wasn’t the one doing everything to save them, hand’s in somebody else’s chest, or holding them, giving comfort when there was nothing else that could be done.

“I want to know, too, Bones. But I don’t think we should without Spock’s agreement. He doesn’t even know that we know what happened to him. We haven’t had much time, with everything happening so fast, but it’s not right. We’ve done what we had too, we made sure Sasek was not in a position to hurt him anymore, and the rest should be his decision. You got some proof as to what happened, now he should be the one to decide what to do with it.”

“Alright, Jim. I think we should wait for a few days, I don’t want to jump him with that when he’s still recuperating. And you should be the one to talk to him. With me it’ll turn into an argument.”

Kirk got up, putting away some things that had been cluttering his desk.

“Right, Bones. We’ll do it that way. You should go and get some sleep, or you’ll fall asleep on my chair.” He smiled.

McCoy huffed but after a few exchanged quips, he left to rejoin his own quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks !
> 
> Almost there. Just one more chapter. 
> 
> Hope you're enjoying this, take care. 
> 
> LLAP


	12. Chapter 12

McCoy was finishing reading the final report on their last mission he had gotten from Kirk, while waiting for his only patient of the day. A week had passed since their salvage of the colony, and the Enterprise was back to exploring space. Tolek and Sasek had been transferred to another ship, on their way to their trial, and McCoy had been more than happy to see them go.

The ship the two Vulcans had been contacting had run into the USS Gagarine. A battle had ensued, and the alien ship had been captured. The people in there were Orions, detached from the syndicate, who had established underground trading lanes in this region of space, a business that the establishment of a Federation colony threatened. They had wanted the whole population to be chased away, and the plan to make the planet only habitable for Vulcans, had not been known to them.

McCoy put down the report, and grabbed his cup of coffee. He took a look at the time. It was 1100 hours, exactly the time of Spock’s finally rescheduled physical, and punctual as a clock, the first officer walked through the door.

“Hello, Spock, welcome to sickbay, finally decided to show up for your physical have ya?”

“Good morning, doctor. The fact that I “showed up” as you put it should not be a matter of discussion as I am quite obviously here.”

McCoy gave an eyer roll but decided to let it slide. He motioned Spock to lie down on the bio-bed, on which the alarms had been turned off and the first officer complied. The examination was largely done in silence, the only words exchanged were instructions and questions from doctor to patient, and answers and occasional requests for clarification from Spock.

McCoy was pretty sure Spock’s heart rate, which was higher than Vulcan normal, was probably a sign that his patient was uncomfortable but he did not point it out, instead making a mental note to surreptitiously check it with his tricorder outside sickbay, when Spock was relaxing or whatever passed for relaxing for the hobgoblin, just to make sure there wasn’t any underlying problem.

Apart from that, Spock seemed to be perfectly healthy, and McCoy took the time to record every information he could think of, to make sure he never again was in the situation of having no idea whether a reading was normal or not. It made it quite a long procedure, but the physician thought it was needed. He thought his instruments were quite lacking as far as measuring telepathic activity was concerned, and he made a note to find a way to remedy that situation.

Spock had so-far kept his clothes. The instruments allowed for taking readings in that manner, and although McCoy disliked relying solely on instruments, he had decided to keep the amount of physical poking and prodding to a minimum on account of his patient’s dislike for it. Readings taken, he turned to Spock, who was visibly getting ready to leave.

“Not so fast, Mr Spock, I’m not done here.”

Spock raised an eyebrow, and the CMO was pretty sure it was the Vulcan’s way of avoiding a full-blown sigh.

“What form of your beads and rattle have you not yet submitted me to? All your readings have showed up as normal and this physical has already lasted 1.32 hour.”

“Impatient, Mr Spock?”

“Impatience is a human emotion, doctor, one I am quite incapable of.”

Yeah, and I’m the queen of England thought McCoy.

“However” the Vulcan continued “I do have duties as first officer that I need to perform. So if you will release me from sickbay...”

McCoy got nearer to Spock and pointed a finger at him.

“Listen, you hobgoblin, this physical is going to be as long as it needs to be. Boyce’s record were almost empty, and I don’t have any medical data on you. So I’m going to make sure I have absolutely everything I need to patch you back together if you get hurt.”

McCoy’s finger was almost in Spock’s chest, and the Vulcan had an instinctive movement to move away. The surgeon deflated.

“I need to take a look at your wound, Spock.”

“I assure you it is not causing me any more discomfort. Your instruments must have told you as much.”

“Yeah, well, I still want to have a look.”

Spock took a long look at the CMO, and decided to obey, figuring there was not much point reasoning with McCoy anyway. He took his shirt off and sat back down on the bio-bed.

McCoy put on gloves, activated a small sterile field as a precaution and took a careful look at the wound. All signs of infection had disappeared, seemingly for good, but the wound still would not close. It should have been well on its way, with what the surgeon had put on it. It meant the poison was probably still active, although his sensors still did not detect it. Dosing Spock wih the antidote by hypo-spray in the arm a few days ago Spock had not even deigned asked what the hypo was for - had apparently not been enough.

Just a few minutes ago, Chapel had beeped, signaling she had a dose of the antidote ready. McCoy thought he’d have to reopen the wound, get the antidote in there, get out whatever contaminated tissue stopped the wound from closing and then get it properly closed. Something that any doctor should have done in the first place, when the injury occurred. He went to pick up the antidote, then came back and told as much to Spock. At the mention of the poison that had been present in the wound, McCoy got a bit of a reaction out of Spock.

“Indeed? Fascinating. I had sometimes wondered why it never disappeared.”

“And it never occurred to you that maybe you should have it taken care of?”

“It never was more than an occasional and very minor inconvenience, doctor.”

McCoy huffed, minor inconvenience his ass, it had just nearly killed the Vulcan. Even to him, that quite disliked the first officer – do you, really, asked an unusually self-aware little voice in his head, but he pushed it aside – would think it would be a bit more than a minor inconvenience.

“Well, I’m going to solve it for you now, alright?”

“Proceed, doctor.”

McCoy gave Spock a local anesthetic – one he had checked had very few side-effects both on Vulcans and humans – and performed the very simple and quick operation. He was in the process of closing the wound and started to grumble.

“Can’t believe any doctor would have left it that way without checking, especially on a kid, that thing’s decades old. Did any physician, or healer treat you at all for this injury, Spock?”

“Indeed not, doctor.”

McCoy finished working with the dermal regenerator and shut down the sterile field.

“There, done. Well, someone sure should have. How old were you, thirteen, fourteen? I call that child neglect.”

“Fourteen, doctor. And I would not qualify it as such, I failed to report the injury and treated it myself.”

“Well, you were not a physician then, and you’re not one now. You should have come and seen me a lot sooner, Spock. Now, you should get the feeling back around your wound in the next half-hour. It shouldn’t hurt, at all. If it does, you don’t pull off some Vulcan stoicism bullshit, and you come see me, alright?”

“I will endeavor to do so, doctor.”

“Good. You’re all set. Certified fit for duty. Get out of my sickbay. I believe you are late for your lunch with Jim.”

“Aren’t you coming?” asked Spock

“Yeah, I am, I’ll be right there.”

Spock left and McCoy followed him a few minutes later, once he had gotten his wish to punch the whole of Vulcan in the face under control. Someone should have noticed that kind of a wound on a kid, it wasn’t right.

***

Kirk quite enjoyed the lunch with his second in command and his CMO, despite dreading the conversation he was planning to have with his first officer afterwards. Spock and McCoy argued on something, although Kirk was somewhat unsure what it was about exactly, but the back and forth lacked its usual bite. His two friends seemed to be enjoying themselves. After a while, McCoy left, giving a long look to Kirk, who nodded. Spock moved to leave, but the captain asked him to stay a while longer.

Kirk did not know how to start. The logical thing to do would have been to address the matter head’s on, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. And he wanted, needed, to make sure Spock knew they had his back. Spock seemed to be wondering what was taking him so long and asked:

“Captain?”

Kirk blurted out.

“Spock, you know you’re welcome on this ship, right?”

“I believe I perform my duties of first officer and science officer adequately, yes.”

“Admirably, more like, but it’s not what I meant.”

Spock quirked his head to the side in what Kirk had learnt seemed to be the Vulcan equivalent of puzzlement.

“What I mean is… Well, those two Vulcans, they were complete assholes to you, I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner, and...”

“There is no need to apologize, captain, a certain proportion of Vulcans and Humans alike have a tendency to resent me for my hybrid nature. It is an illogical if common reaction, and I assure you I am quite unable to be offended by it.”

“Well, maybe you aren’t” said Kirk, even he was fairly sure it wasn’t quite true “but I am, and it’s still wrong.”

Spock seemed quite at a loss to understand why his captain was telling him this, and Kirk decided to get on with it.

“Spock, about Sasek, I… I know it’s worst than just rudeness. I think… I think we… Bones, and I, we’ve got a fairly good idea of, of what he did to you, when you were a child, that, he was the one, responsible for that wound… I’m sorry you had to deal with this, but, we might have a way to prove… to prove that he did it. But it’s your choice if…”

“Indeed?”

Spock was wearing his perfect Vulcan mask on his face and Kirk had no idea what was going on in his friend’s mind. Probably because it was a private matter, which made Jim feel even worse that he, even unwittingly, saw parts of that mind which Spock would definitely have kept to himself. But he can’t hide what happened.

“You let a few things slip, when you were in sickbay, Bones and I were there. We pieced some stuff together.”

“And you said you had obtained proof.”

“Yeah, Bones did. The poison that was in your wound reacted to Sasek’s telepathic presence. Don't ask me how, butit apparently is telepathically linked to its first user. And he can prove the age of the wounds fits. We may have enough to build a case, Spock. What do you say?”

Spock seemed to think for an instant.

“I do not wish to press charges. Sasek is being tried for other crimes that he has committed. He is in no position to harm anyone else. Besides, statutes of limitation probably apply and my failure to report the assault would weaken the case and potentially cast doubts on the crime he is currently accused of. It would not be logical to do so in the circumstances.”

Kirk nodded. He didn’t agree with the decision, but Spock was right, Sasek was currently not a threat. Kirk probably would not do the same, should any of Kodos’ subordinates be put to trial, but he could understand. McCoy would probably have more difficulties accepting this, but Kirk will make him if he has to, and he knows that the doctor would not do anything without Spock’s approval in this matter. But there was still something he needed to make clear.

“I won't press you on this. But, if you ever need help, or to talk, anything, we’re here, Spock” he added.

“We?” The question seemed to have escaped the first officer. And that he would have to ask…

“You’re a member of this crew, Spock, and members of this crew would go beyond their duties for you, you must know that.”

Kirk had no idea what Spock was thinking, or feeling, the Vulcan facade well in place, so he kept on going, decorum be damned. He’d seen, felt telepathically, Spock being thrown away, almost murdered for being other, and he wanted to make it absolutely clear that it won’t happen on the Enterprise.

“I can’t speak for other people, but I’ll be there, you’re my first officer, but your also my friend, Spock.”

Kirk was that close to grabbing Spock by the shoulder, but he didn't. His words got a small nod of recognition from Sopck, and he realized he had not imagined the growing closeness between them.

“And whatever it is you have going on with Bones, I know he cares about you too.”

“The doctor has unusual ways of expressing it” said Spock, and Kirk could have sworn there was hint of a smile on the Vulcan’s face.

At that moment, the com-unit beeped.

“Bridge to captain Kirk.” says DeSalle.

“Kirk here, go ahead, Lieutenant”

“We are approaching planet Sigma Epsilon 12 and there are some sensor readings I think you’d better see.”

“All right, Lieutenant, on my way, Kirk out.”

Then, turning back with a smile to his first officer.

“You’ve passed your physical by the good doctor, haven’t you.”

“Yes, sir, I have been deemed physically fit for duty.”

“Good, with me.”

They walked through the corridor and to the turbolift.

“Bridge.” Kirk said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks,
> 
> This is the end of this story. Thanks so much for reading, giving kudos and commenting, comments in particular make my day!
> 
> I know this has a bit of an open ending, I have a few plans for a follow-up, but I'm not sure of how much of a good idea it actually is. Would any of you be interested?
> 
> Tell me what you think, and have very good day !
> 
> Live long and prosper
> 
> Toinette, out.


End file.
